buying clothes that aren’t black is hard
"When you follow in the path of your father, you learn to walk like him."
I remember learning this old African proverb back in high school. Ever since I heard this I was instilled with a certain sense of pride. Unlike most black girls, I was raised by my father instead of my mother and I was always proud to tell everyone that. I mean, who wouldn’t be? My dad is super dope, he’s been my superhero and even taught me to fly. Sure, we have our differences. What parents and children don’t bump heads from time to time? But what I never take away from him is he works hard, is a good man and loves me unconditionally.
He told me he’s separating from his wife today. They’ve been together since I was 3 and I’m not the least bit effected. Or so I thought. I started thinking, and thinking, and thinking some more. My dad’s 51, he’s not happily married and wasn’t happy when he was with my mother either. That really scares me. Why can’t he be happy with these women? Will he ever be happy with someone else? Is he more content with being by himself? Does that mean he’ll just get tired and distant from me just like these other women in his life? Then it just raised the question: what does this say about me? I act a lot like my dad in some ways especially when it comes to my pride and keeping things to myself. Is this my fate? Am I predetermined to end up the same way? After all, it has been said we are a reflection of our parents. Looking around, I don’t have an example of anyone in my life who is happily married. My mom never married, none of my friends parents are together but I can’t be totally cynical there’s a several women in my family that are.
Since I was old enough to have this opinion, I haven’t been a big advocate for me getting married and having kids. Maybe this is my wake-up call. Is this the universe’s way of giving me a possible glimpse of my life if I chose to continue to have my beliefs? I have so many questions and not enough insight. Maybe I shouldn’t be carrying my father’s burdens. Too many maybes, not enough answers. But maybe I’m not supposed to figure it all out at 21. But maybe I shouldn’t be so fearful. He has love in his life, he has me and I’m the coolest person he knows, he’s responsible for making me this cool! 51 isn’t a death sentence, he’s still got his own path before I even choose to follow his.
Where’s the African proverb that gives me all the answers to life?
Bonnie & Clyde - 106 & park - 2002
So, I saw Yo Gotti tonight. & Meek Mill (for the third time) but who cares
Michael B. Jordan and Chanel Iman - Oscar Party Photo Booth
She needs to back off my man
obama rocking that BASQUIAT SHIRT thooo
And that jumper tho… My hitta 👌
Fuck. Stupid. Shit. Disappointment. Failure. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
What’s another word for stupid?
Ridiculous. Overwhelming emotions What? Why? How? Shoulda, coulda, woulda. Resentment. Stress. Worry. Deep breaths. Simply just being too dramatic. Relax. Think positivity. Seek forgiveness. Find tranquility. Accept your mistakes. Faith. Strength. Growth. Love. Don’t be afraid.